


A Journal of the Experiment by Will Graham

by AVegetarianCannibal



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Bored Will is a schemer, Cabin Fic, Cologne, Crack, Diary/Journal, Fluff, Frottage, Hannigram - Freeform, M/M, Post-Finale, Science Experiments, Will is bored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:49:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6442264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AVegetarianCannibal/pseuds/AVegetarianCannibal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a journal detailing Will Graham's successes and setbacks as he tries to train his favorite cannibal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Journal of the Experiment by Will Graham

**Day 1. The Theory**

We stumbled upon this cabin three nights ago after leaving our last hiding place.

 

  


We're making our way ... well, I suppose I shouldn't say just where we're trying to go. Just in case I lose this journal at some point. Don't need Jack finding it and tracking us down. [[[waving to Jack in the future if he's reading this]]] Anyway.

H says the whole world is ours, but I would settle for some place with a hot shower and a memory foam mattress. I never thought that, out of the two of us, I would be the one to miss modern amenities the most. Perhaps H is just so glad to be out of prison that he doesn't care we don't have TP.

The cabin has two bunk beds (mattresses with sheets but no blankets) and a "kitchen" consisting of mismatched card tables, a large cooking pot that doubles as a basin, and a single burner propane camp stove stove. There were sealed bottles of water when we arrived, covered in spider webs and dust. Since we've used those, we've been boiling water from the brook out back. It doesn't seem like anybody's been here for a long time. We're sleeping in shifts in case somebody returns.

When H caught me pacing once too often, bored out of my mind, he suggested I find something more productive to do with my time. That's when I went exploring in the loft and found a small stack of old paperbacks, this notebook I'm writing in, and a men's grooming kit. (Calling it a loft is generous. It's a small niche over the bunk beds, barely large enough for a grown man to sit in.) The latch on the kit was rusted shut, but I pried it open with an equally rusty screwdriver. I couldn't help but laugh at what was inside.

  

After all these years, and all these miles, H still can’t get away from the ship on the bottle.

To ease my boredom I’ve decided to conduct an experiment. My theory: **H can be trained to like the scent of this cologne.**

W -

 

* * *

 

**Day 2. Initial Test**

I applied two splashes (ultra scientific measurement) on my neck and rubbed whatever was left on my hand through my hair before approaching the test subject.

H had just returned from gathering wild mushrooms when he stopped in the doorway and sniffed the air like a fox checking for hints of an enemy intruder. I pretended to read a book I'd found in the loft (an Edgar Rice Burroughs with very yellowed pages) and waited for him to say something. I didn't have long to wait.

H: 'Has someone else been here?'

Me: 'Yes, a whole troop of Girl Scouts selling cookies. I turned them away because it turns out their Samoas are not made with actual Samoans.''

H: 'I see your sarcasm survived the fall uninjured.'

I realized this was a perfect way to segue into more intense application of stimuli to the test subject.

Me: 'Speaking of which, would you help me with a little physical therapy?'

I gave up my chair to him, then sat down on the floor between his feet, facing away.

H: 'That malodorous scent. It's coming from you.'

Me: 'I found some up there in an old canister. Can you imagine? I know you're not a fan of the smell, but I was getting pretty rank without a proper shower or deodorant.'

I had him massage my shoulders and neck as I stretched beneath his hands. I moaned and breathed a little louder than absolutely necessary, sprinkling in an 'oh god, yes' and 'mm just like that' here and there. I let this continue for about 15 mins before I told him he'd worn me out.

I got up to clean the mushrooms, but he stayed seated for a while longer.

Initial test produced promising results. Subject was on alert, but did not react negatively.

W -

 

* * *

 

**Day 3. A Possible Setback**

I think I pushed ahead with my experiment too quickly, encouraged by yesterday's success.

I applied three splashes to my chest and wiped my hands across the abdominal scar H gave me. With this much of the cologne on, even I could tell it had gone a bit sour. 'Too long in the bottle,' he'd once called it. I understand now what he meant. I decided I would try to accomplish two tasks at once: air myself out, and give him an unrestricted view. As BdM once said, H is excited by my scars. I thought if he were presented with the sight of them in conjunction with the scent of the cologne, it would create a positive association.

But when I approached him in my half nude state, he dropped the knife he'd been using to dress the rabbits and all but ran out the door. Considering he's still recovering from his gunshot wound and various injuries from the fall, he moved amazingly quickly.

When he didn't return after a few minutes, I finished cleaning the rabbits and started brushing the oyster mushrooms clean. I don’t know what he’s planning to do with the acorns so I left them alone.

 

 

We've been eating well even without venturing into town for supplies. I knew we'd have to go eventually, or one of us would, but so far it's been manageable. I was afraid he'll go pick me up some deodorant or cologne and then I wouldn't have any excuse to continue the experiment. 

Eventually he did come back in, but he wouldn't look at me. He said I should put my clothes on before I caught my death. I thought about making a joke but he didn't seem to be in the mood.

I got dressed, but he shooed me away from the "kitchen" while he cooked saying my odor would ruin his appetite. I stayed in my bunk bed taking notes until he called me to dinner.

H: 'Rabbit stew with toasted acorns, oyster mushrooms and a chiffonade of fresh shiso leaves.'

Me: 'Only you would be able to concoct a gourmet meal out of random things you found in the woods.'

H: 'I also found some wintergreen growing nearby. I'm going to steep some of it for you to use in your daily grooming. It even has anti-inflammatory properties, in addition to its pleasing aroma.'

My jaw dropped open so fast, a bite of stew almost fell out of it. Hannibal Fucking Lecter found me some cologne growing wild in the woods because of course he did.

W - 

 

* * *

 

**Day 4. The Gambit**

Waking up this morning before dawn, I knew I had to act quickly if I were to keep Hannibal from making that homemade wintergreen cologne.

While he was still asleep (so much for sleeping in shifts), I splashed on some of the Old Spice he hates so much. (I have taken to keeping the bottle in my pants pocket at all times so he doesn't just toss it out when I'm not looking.) I didn't have a plan. I just decided to put on my coat and figured out I would ad lib a solution. Was I going to burn down every wintergreen plant in a 5-mile radius? Was I going to break H's legs and demand he ~~write me a new Misery Chastain story~~  stay inside forever?

I went outside to take a leak and found myself standing in a foot of fresh snow. Mother Nature had provided me with a solution.

H was just waking up when I got back inside. He made noises about going out to collect wintergreen leaves.

Me: 'It snowed overnight. I don't think you should go.'

H: 'I hardly think a little snow is anything to worry about.'

Me: 'It's not a little, though. It's at least two feet.' (Exaggeration, but whatever.)

H: 'I once carried you through more snow than that, if you'll recall.'

He put on his coat and went outside. Damn it! I should have counted on him being a stubborn bastard about this. I had to make a much bolder move.

I called out to him from the doorway. 'But I'm so cold in here by myself! Please come back and keep me warm for a while!'

He was already 50 yards out, but he stopped and looked back at me.

'Please,' I said again, and added his name in a slow drawl just how I know he likes it. I could tell he was arguing with himself about it, but eventually he started back to the cabin.

As soon as he got to the door, I threw off my coat and tossed it to the floor. I sat on my bed and patted the space beside me.

Me: 'We'll keep warmer if we're skin to skin.'

H: 'I don't think that bunk was made for two.'

Me: 'We can lie on our sides. Come on now, don't be shy.'

He picked up my coat and spooned up behind me before pulling the coat over both our shoulders. As soon as he had settled in comfortably, I shifted around so I was facing him. I made a lot of noises about how nice and warm and cozy I was, while also angling myself in such a way that he would get a good whiff of my cologne.

Suddenly, I felt something hard and long pressing into my thigh. Judging by the way H tensed up, I knew he felt it too. We both reached down at the same time, but he got there first.

H: 'It's your cologne bottle.'

Me: 'Oh.'

H: 'I thought for a moment...'

Me: 'Ha ha so did I.'

We were both quiet after that. He didn't ask me to throw it out, and he didn't try to throw it out for me. When we got out of bed a couple of hours later, he didn't even try to go out again. He didn't mention that damned wintergreen again all day. I think my gambit has paid off.

 

W --

 

* * *

 

**Day 5. A Slow Day**

No big developments on the experiment front. I had to go into town today to pick up a few things. H and I argued about which of us should go and I said I'm the less recognizable of us. Even his beard cannot hide those cheekbones, and his beard is getting pretty luxuriant. Mine is a lot longer than I like it, I look like a creepy cult leader I'm sure, but it hides the shape of my face and my new scar. Fuck you again for that one, Francis.

H gave me this shopping list.

 

 

Can you believe this? Fresh tarragon?? [[Who am I asking? let's pretend it's Jack in the future. Hi again!]]

I stopped at the first gas station I came to and asked for directions to the nearest grocery store. I was told it was another mile further into town. I refused to walk that much more in the cold so I just got what I could at the gas station.

Margarine (it's butter flavored)  
A handful of salt packets from the deli counter  
1 dozen eggs  
Sprigs of wilted parsley also from the deli counter  
Pop Tarts (they’re cinnamon flavored)  
Bisquick mix  
Log Cabin pancake syrup  
4 jumbo rolls toilet paper  
1 bar Old Spice soap [HAHAHA]

As soon as I got back to the cabin, H grabbed me and held onto me for at least five minutes, just breathing into my hair and saying how much he'd missed me and how he thought I might have decided to leave. I guess it's the first time we've been apart. Anyway, he was so glad to see me he didn't even complain about the Pop Tarts.

W --

 

* * *

 

**Day 6. An Unexpected Development**

Well, H and I sort of had sex.

Wait I need to back up and not lead with that.

OK, I got up this morning and heated up some water for a cat bath and used my new soap to clean the smelliest parts of myself as well as my face. I only added a little cologne after since I have the soap now. I thought about not using it at all, but it seems like bad science to abandon it entirely before the experiment is over.

When I went back to my bunk, I found him waiting for me there, seemingly asleep. I shoved him over as far as I could and got in behind him.

As soon as he felt me, he rolled over and pulled me to him. His eyes weren't even open, so I thought he must still be sleeping. He mumbled things I didn't understand and buried his nose in my neck, inhaling so hard it was like he was trying to suck in my skin. This was followed by kisses to the hollow of my throat and murmurs of my name.

Me: 'Are you still asleep? Wake up. Hey, wake up.'

H: 'Oh, Will... Will... you smell divine...mmm so sweet. Sweeter than fevered sweetness...oh, Will.'

Me: 'Not that I object to whatever's going on, but you should be awake for it.'

H: 'I am awake, Will, more awake than I've ever been.'

Me: 'Oh. Umm....'

You might think I would have been prepared for this, that it wouldn't be an 'unexpected' development. You would think I knew this was coming, ever since BdM basically flat out told me H is in love with me and I basically flat out admitted (to myself) that yeah I fucking love him back. You would think that. But you would be wrong!

I had pushed it to the back of my mind, with all our running and hiding and healing not necessarily in that order, not 100% sure if my feelings extended to the physical side of things, occupying myself with this experiment... just WHATEVER. I had been toying with it, obviously, you don't fling yourself half-naked at another man without SOME idea of how you feel, but I was just letting every possibility hang in the balance without actually choosing one. Kinda like I tend to usually do.

So while he was still kissing my neck, I decided to choose one. Finally. And then we dry humped on the bottom bunk bed like a couple of ridiculous teenagers and came in our shorts.

H: 'I have to admit that's not how I've been picturing our first time.'

Me: 'How have you been picturing it?'

H: 'Sometimes I picture us having a bath first, together, and letting the warm breeze flowing off the Mediterranean dry our bodies as I kiss every inch of your skin. Sometimes I picture an orchard in Provence, where we're lying on a blanket together, naked and kissed by the dappled sunlight. Other times, it's just a bed with sumptuous linens, and candles all around, with the sound of our breathing filling the room.'

Me: 'Wow. Those are super romantic.'

H: 'How have you pictured it? If you've pictured it.'

Me: 'Um... honestly, it's usually just like a little flash of porn before I shut it down. Like I opened the wrong tab on my computer for a split second and saw a guy going to town on a dick and then I closed it right away.'

H: 'Hm.'

Me: 'I'll work on the romance part.'

W --

 

* * *

 

**Day 9. Conclusion**

All right I haven't been keeping up with the experiment or my notes the last couple of days. To be honest, H and I have been making out and taking turns giving each other head pretty much nonstop.

On a side note, he is a goddamn CHAMP at oral. I don't know if anybody gives out awards for that kind of thing, but if they do he should get all of them. Holy shit. Meanwhile, I'm pretty terrible but learning fast. I accidentally threw up a little bit the first time because I was overambitious and he triggered my gag reflex, plus it was RIGHT after I ate like four eggs with Bisquick mixed in them. So, so sexy.

I flirtatiously suggested he try fucking me, but he said he would rather wait until our circumstances are better. I have to quote him exactly: 'I will give up my orchard and my candles to make love to you, Will, but I draw the line at using a tub of margarine for lubricant.' 

 

  

I pointed out we also have pancake syrup, but he just glared at me and then we dry humped through our clothes again.

There's been more activity in the woods lately, a couple of campers not far from here, so we've decided to move on. I also decided it was time to come clean about my 'experiment' and showed him this journal even if it meant ruining the already shitty science side by making the subject aware of my theory.

He was actually pretty impressed--not so much at the scientific side (which he agreed was shoddy AND shitty) but because of my deviousness.

As I was packing my meager belongings, I started to return the grooming kit and cologne back to the loft, but he stopped me.

H: 'You should take it with you.'

W: 'Why on earth would I do that?'

H: 'We don't know where our path may lead us. You may need it again. Besides, you've proved your theory true: I have indeed grown rather fond of the aroma.'

So I am taking the bottle with the ship on it with us, but I am leaving this journal behind for posterity. Somebody, at some point, should know the story of how I successfully seduced Hannibal Lecter a second time (with my disgusting old cologne, no less), and how we both survived to tell the tale.

W --


End file.
